


Purpose

by Zrttr



Series: Who am I when we are apart? [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Percy doesn't have a purpose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:26:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zrttr/pseuds/Zrttr
Summary: He hates this discussion. It's absolutely stupid, because he already made this decision. Annabeth is just venting at this point. It's going to happen, because this is one of the few things he's wanted in life, and he'll have it.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson
Series: Who am I when we are apart? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890913
Kudos: 14





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> After reading both PJO and HOO, I've realized something really sad. Percy never wants anything. In this one, he finally realizes there is something he wants, but it stays in the way of a future with Annabeth.

He hated arguing with Annabeth. Mostly because she never understood when the discussion was over. Percy pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to calm down, since two people yelling at each other rarely dealt with their issues properly.  
\- You are so selfish! You didn't even think twice before doing this! You didn't even care enough to let me know before you did it..  
"Fuck", thought Percy, "she's crying. This would be so much easier if she were just yelling instead." He let himself sink deeper into couch in an effort to relieve his fatigue.  
Percy knew this weekend was supposed to be the best of their lives. Their graduation had been Friday, and Annabeth's first actual job in an architecture firm began on Monday. These two days were supposed to be almost a honey moon, but he blew it by bringing this up.  
But he simply wouldn't be able to enjoy this short break without telling her.  
\- Why did you do this?! The whole reason why we came to New Rome was to get away from that life! That's the reason why we're in college! How could you do this to us?  
\- How could I do this to us?! Are you fucking kidding me? - that's it, he blew up, and now was time to spill some truth. - That life is who I am Annabeth! For the last four fucking years I've woken up, looked at the mirror and not recognized the person I see. I feel numb, Annabeth! I don't know why I'm doing this. College was never my dream. Pretending I'm normal was never my dream. When I came to New Rome and saw all of this, I thought about you!  
He didn't know when he got up, but he had left the couch and was now standing right in front of her, close enough to see every ounce of pain in those grey eyes of hers.  
\- Percy, if this is about the monster attack last month, don't do it. One single monster attack can't make you believe that a normal life isn't possible.  
He couldn't believe she still didn't get it. He had to stare at her for a couple of seconds, before screaming at the top of his lungs:  
\- I should thank Zeus, Athena, Ares or whoever the fuck it was who sent that monster after us during our travel to LA! Ever since we enrolled in college and I started playing house with you, I've felt dead inside. When that Manticore attacked, and I got to uncap Riptide for the first time in years, I felt better than I could possibly feel teaching middle schoolers. Or whatever dream you tried to shove in my head to make think we both wanted this.  
\- Don't you dare blame me for this, Jackson. We both wanted. Have you forgotten how many times you told me how much you wanted to go to college with me? Now, all of a sudden, I'm the big baddie who dragged great hero Perseus Jackson away from his place in the battlefield!  
"That's my exact point! The only reason I did all of this was to be with you. The gods know that I love you more than anything, Wise Girl, but that's not how a healthy relationship is meant to work.  
He collapsed back onto the couch again, hiding his face in his palms. It was then that Percy heard Annabeth begin to sob, and his heart clenched.  
\- What is this, Seaweed Brain? Am I supposed to sit here and watch you waste your life in the army? To sit and wait like I did after Mount St. Helen? Like I did when you disappeared? I won't be able to take it Percy. I won't be able to go to work, come home and sit in the couch while asking myself if you're dead or alive. You can't ask me to do that...  
Percy had an urge to get up again and hug her, but he knew that if he did that, he'd end up buckling and staying, like she wanted him to. And if he didn't do this, if he didn't do the only thing he was sure he wanted besides Annabeth, he'd eventually forsake himself, becoming someone he didn't even know. Also, maybe not tomorrow or next year, but eventually, he would put the blame for his sadness on her, blame her for him not living life the way he wanted to. And that would destroy them both.  
\- Ever since the war against Gaya, - it was only when he started talking again that he noticed he was crying too - everything has just felt dull. The only thing about this, all of this "normal life" we're trying to craft, that I'm sure I want is you. I never had goals like you did, Annabeth, but I had to fight throughout all of my teen years. Living life without having to fight for it makes me feel hollow, pointless. I love you, but if I don't go, I won't be able to live.  
That was the first time in the ten years he knew her that Annabeth let Percy have the last word in a discussion.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated.


End file.
